Make your own free website on Tripod.com






By, Gloria Dianne

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE SUNDAY,
AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE,
NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING,
 EXCEPT FOR THAT MOUSE,
WHO SNUCK INTO OUR TOASTER
TO STEEL HIM SOME CRUMBS.
(MIGHT CALL HIM A CATBURGLAR,
THE RAT WAS A BUM!)



IT WAS QUIET AND PEACEFUL
THAT SATURDAY NIGHT,
UNTIL HUBBY DECIDED
TO FIX A LATE NIGHT BITE.
HE THOUGHT HE'D HAVE TOAST,
BUT, WHEN HE PRESSED THE LEVER DOWN,
THE SILENCE WAS BROKEN,
BY THIS LOUD SQUEALING SOUND!


SEEMS THE LITTLE MOUSE HAD NO DEFENSE,
ONLY PERSECUTION.
AND WAS SENTENCED TO SUDDEN DEATH
BY ELECTROCUTION!!!




WHEN HUBBY CALLED UP TO ME,
I COULD HEAR HIS GREAT DISTRESS,
"HONEY, COULD YOU PLEASE COME DOWN,
AND PLEASE, CLEAN UP THIS MESS!"
SURELY, HE MUST BE KIDDING,
"YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?
THERE'S NO WAY I'LL USE IT NOW,
JUST THROW THE DARN THING OUT!"
"DO YOU KNOW JUST HOW MUCH
A TOASTER COSTS THESE DAYS?
I'LL CLEAN IT UP MYSELF," HE SAID.
"IF YOUR GONNA BE THAT WAY!"
WELL, FOR OVER AN HOUR,
HE SCRAPED AND HE SCRUBBED.
THEN DOUSED THE WHOLE THING,
IN A HOT SOAPY TUB!


"YOU'RE JUST WASTING YOUR TIME!"
I REPEATEDLY SAID.
"WE COULD GET ELECTROCUTED,
OR EVEN DROP DEAD!"
"OH,YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY!
IT'S SAFE NOW," HE'D BOAST.
EVEN THOUGH (HE SAID) HE USED IT,
I VOWED TO NEVER EAT TOAST!





"I THINK THE TOASTER IS SAFE NOW"
I TOLD A FRIEND OF MINE.
"AFTER ALL IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS,
AND HUBBY'S STILL FINE!"
I KEPT CHATTING WITH HER,
THAT MORNING ON THE PHONE.
AS I MADE BREAKFAST FOR MYSELF;
I WAS HOME ALONE.
I PUT THE BREAD INTO THE SLOT,
THEN PRESSED THE LEVER DOWN.
FIRST IT SPATTERED,THEN IT SMOKED,
SOON FLAMES SHOT ALL AROUND!


MY FRIEND THOUGHT I HAD LOST MY MIND,
AS I SCREAMED AT HER ABRUPT~~
"CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!
BUT DON'T YOU DARE HANG UP!"

'WAIT THERE JUST A MOMENT DEAR,
SOMEONE'S AT MY DOOR.!'
HOW COULD SHE JUST LEAVE ME HERE?
FACING DEATH, OR EVEN MORE!
THE SHORT TIME THAT SHE WAS GONE,
TO ME SEEMED LIKE A YEAR.
'THAT WAS THE MAILMAN,
HE SAID TO PULL THE PLUG OUT,DEAR.'
I WOULD HAVE IF I COULD REACH IT,
DESPITE MY STRONG DESIRE.
BUT I KNEW I'D BE BARBECUED,
BY SETTING MYSELF ON FIRE!


THEN I SPIED THE TEA POT AND SAID,
"I'LL DROWN THOSE DARN OL' FLAMES!"
MY FRIEND SCREAMED "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
GIRL, YOU ARE INSANE!"

WELL,THAT BROUGHT ME TO MY SENSES,
AND I RESTORED MY CALM.
DOUSED THOSE FLAMES WITH TABLE SALT,
SOON ALL THE FIRE WAS GONE!
MERCY MADE ME PULL THE PLUG,
AND TOSS IT OUT OF THE HOUSE!
THERE'S NO WAY I'LL BELEIVE,
IT'S NOT HAUNTED BY THAT MOUSE!
TAKE THAT! YOU DANG OL' TOASTER!
GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU TOO!
THEN I REMEMBERED MR. TIGHTWAD!
GOSH! WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?
I THOUGHT IF I'D CLEAN IT UP,
HE WOULDN'T KNOW ANYTHING WAS WRONG.
BUT WHEN I WENT TO GET IT,
THE GOSH DARNED THING WAS GONE!


DID IT SPROUT LITTLE FEET,
AND SIMPLY WALK AWAY?
IS THIS DE JA VOUS, OR WHAT?
SEEMS MORE LIKE VOUS JA DE!
WELL, I WALKED TOWARD THE PLAYGROUND,
SCHOOL CHILDREN WERE OUT AT PLAY.
I DIDN'T KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO,
OR WHAT ON EARTH I'D SAY.
I SPIED A TEACHER WITH HIS CLASS,
COMING FROM THE YARD.
"EXCUSE ME SIR, BOYS AND GIRLS."
(BELIEVE ME! THIS WAS HARD)
"UHH, WHILE YOU WERE PLAYING,
DID YOU SEE A TOASTER ANYWHERE?"
'A WHAT?' "A TOASTER, SIR."
HE DIDN'T ANSWER, HE JUST STARED!


YET BOTH OF US WERE SUPRISED,
WHEN WE HEARD ONE KID SHOUT!
"YEAH! WE PLAYED KICK BALL
WITH A TOASTER,
BUT A TEACHER THREW IT OUT!"
WELL WOULDN'T YOU JUST KNOW IT,
IT WAS TRASH DAY IN OUR TOWN!
THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A KAJILLIAN CANS,
SCATTERED ALL AROUND!

WELL, I'M NOT GOING GARBAGE PICKING!
I REALLY HAD ENOUGH!
AND I DON'T CARE WHAT HUBBY SAYS!
IT'S TIME THAT I GET TOUGH!
"NOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE ME,
AND I REALLY DON'T CARE IF YOU WON'T!"
AND I TOLD HUBBY HOW I LOST THE TOASTER,
AND HE SAID, 'YOU'RE RIGHT! I DON'T!'



"WELL, I KNOW THIS TOASTER'S SAFE,"
I TOLD THAT FRIEND OF MINE.
"AFTER ALL IT IS BRAND NEW.
THIS ONE WILL BE JUST FINE."
I KEPT CHATTING WITH HER,
THAT MORNING ON THE PHONE.
AS I MADE BREAKFAST FOR MYSELF;
I WAS HOME ALONE.
I PUT THE BREAD INTO THE SLOT,
THEN PRESSED THE LEVER DOWN.


FIRST IT SPATTERED, THEN IT SMOKED!
SOON FLAMES SHOT ALL AROUND!
MY FRIEND KNEW I HAD FINALLY LOST IT,
WHEN SHE HEARD ME SAY...........

 
"CALL THOSE MEN IN THEIR
CLEAN WHITE COATS,



AND TELL THEM TO PLEASE....
TAKE ME AWAY!"












Sign My Guestbook

View My Guestbook

INDEX



Gloria Dianne's Poetry
MY PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR A CHRISTMAS WISH OUR LINK PAGE
OUR AWARD GARDEN CUPID'S CORNER 2 JUST FOR FUN
PAGE 2~YESTERYEAR~
MORE FUN STUFF! ODE TO A TOASTER
FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOURTH OUT THE REMEMBRANCE PAGE 
REMEMBER ME POEMS FROM THE HEART A DAD FOR ALL SEASONS
MOTHER'S DAY FOR MOTHER'S DAY KID's CORNER CUPID'S CORNER

GloryBs@webtv.net
This page is copy write©Glory B's Poetry Corner 1998,1999,2000,2001 All gloria Dianne's poems Copywrite© Gloria Dianne's Originals 1998,1999,2000,2001.All rights reserved